I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
