She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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