Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
