Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Screwed.edu
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize