the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
