I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm bleeding and have questions
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
