She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
