it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
