coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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