tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
