The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I will be naked everywhere
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
