Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
