he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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