This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
