If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
