just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
