I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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