she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
