Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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