I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
