everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
