I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
