but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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