just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
