I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Randomize
