just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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