She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
