it's like iHOP with fire
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
