My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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