She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
