Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
sex in a hospital.. check
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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