And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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