i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
