So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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