I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
