Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
