ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
This is classic penis vs brain.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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