We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
