she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Operation Purity has been aborted
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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