Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
