This dress was meant to end up on your floor
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
