i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
