I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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