i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
