your room smells of hookers.
And success
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
