"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
