But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
