you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
