I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
