it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
