She's JV to your varsity
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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